In my practice, I work with adults experiencing anxiety, trauma, workplace psychological injuries, relationship challenges, and major life stressors. Many of the people I meet aren’t sure whether what they’ve experienced “counts” as trauma—they simply know they don’t feel like themselves anymore.
Many people think of trauma as something that happened in the past. Yet for many individuals, trauma isn’t simply a memory—it’s something their nervous system continues to experience in the present.
You may tell yourself, “I’m safe now,” but your body doesn’t seem to believe it. Your heart races, your muscles stay tense, you struggle to sleep, or you always feel like you’re waiting for something bad to happen. It can feel confusing and exhausting.
Many of the people I work with have spent months—or even years—trying to figure things out on their own. They’ve read books, listened to podcasts, talked with friends, or told themselves to “just get over it.”
Yet despite all of their effort, they still feel stuck. Feeling “stuck” can show up in many ways—not just emotionally, but in relationships, work, habits, or decision-making.
What is trauma?
Trauma isn’t defined solely by what happened—it also involves how your mind and nervous system responded to the experience, and how those responses continue to affect your daily life. An event might be seen as traumatic by one person, but not another. This can feel confusing. Many people dismiss what they’re feeling, tell themselves they should be “over it,” or work hard to avoid emotions that feel overwhelming.
Trauma results from an event, series of events, or circumstances that have lasting effects on an individual’s mental, physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being. Rather than focusing on “what is wrong with me”, exploring what happened to you is more helpful.
Trauma changes the way the brain and body respond to stress. Trauma doesn’t always end when the event is over. Sometimes the nervous system continues to respond as though danger is still present, even when you’re objectively safe.
When the nervous system remains in a heightened state of survival, fewer mental and emotional resources are available for concentration, problem-solving, managing emotions, making decisions, and learning new information. People often feel as though they cannot perform simple tasks like they used to and become upset, feeling inadequate or not good enough.
Signs your nervous system may still be stuck in survival mode
The feeling that your nervous system is stuck in survival mode can be different for everyone. Some people find that they are always scanning for danger, have difficulty trusting others, or startle easily. Difficulty relaxing or an inability to fall or stay asleep can also be a clue that your nervous system is hypervigilant or hyper-aware. Irritability, feeling emotionally numb, feeling panic or having bouts of panic are also signs that your body is stuck in survival mode. Because the brain and gut are closely connected, digestive symptoms such as nausea, stomach pain, or changes in appetite are also common responses to chronic stress and trauma. Some people may feel confused by their symptoms, consciously knowing they are safe but continuing to feel unsafe long after the danger has passed.
Although some of these experiences can overlap with conditions such as anxiety, depression, burnout, or the effects of ongoing life stress, persistent symptoms may be related to past traumatic experiences or other forms of chronic stress. Experiencing a few of these signs occasionally is common; the concern is when they’re persistent, interfere with daily life, or feel difficult to break out of.
Questions to ask yourself:
- Do I feel safe enough to rest, or do I always feel like I need to stay alert?
- Am I meeting my basic needs consistently?
- Has this been going on for weeks or months?
- Is this affecting my relationships, work, or health?
- Do I feel like I have to be in control all the time?
- Am I constantly waiting for something bad to happen?
Why this happens
Your brain and nervous system are constantly working together to determine one thing: Am I safe?
When we encounter danger, the body automatically releases stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones prepare us to protect ourselves by fighting, fleeing, or freezing.
In most situations, once the danger has passed, the nervous system gradually settles back into a calmer state.
After a traumatic experience, however, that system may remain on high alert. Even when you are objectively safe, your brain may continue interpreting certain situations, sounds, people, or places as potential threats.
These responses aren’t signs that something is wrong with you. They’re signs that your nervous system adapted to protect you in the best way it knew how.
The encouraging news is that our brains remain capable of change throughout life. This ability, known as neuroplasticity, means that while trauma can shape the nervous system, it doesn’t define your future. With safety, supportive relationships, and effective therapy, many people find they can begin to feel calmer, more connected, and more like themselves again.
Healing is possible
Therapy isn’t about forcing yourself to “move on” or reliving painful memories before you’re ready. It’s about creating a safe space to understand what’s happening in your mind and body, develop new ways of coping, and move toward the life you want to live.
Therapy may help you:
- understand patterns that keep repeating
- recognize how past experiences continue to influence the present
- learn practical coping strategies
- regulate overwhelming emotions
- improve communication and relationships
- reconnect with your values
- build confidence in yourself and your decisions
If you recognized yourself in any part of this article, know that you’re not alone.
Healing takes time. With the right support, your nervous system can begin to learn that the danger has passed, allowing you to move from surviving toward living more fully., but it is possible. With the right support, your nervous system can learn that the danger has passed and that it is safe to begin living again instead of simply surviving.
If you’d like to explore whether therapy might be helpful, I welcome you to reach out for a free consultation. We can talk about what you’ve been experiencing and whether working together feels like the right fit. If you’re interested in learning more about trauma, anxiety, workplace psychological injuries, or what to expect in therapy, I invite you to explore the other resources on my website.
References
- Herman, J. L. (2022). Trauma and Recovery (Revised ed.).
- Perry, B. D., & Winfrey, O. (2021). What Happened to You?
- Perry, B. D. (2017). The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog.
- van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score.
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Trauma and Violence: What Is Trauma and Its Effects?
- American Psychological Association. Trauma resources for clinicians and the public.